Monday, January 21, 2013

Difficult anniversary

Anniversary and dates are normally something to celebrate, but as president Obama was sworn in today, I remember 4 years ago sitting in a hospital room, waiting for my d&c procedure to happen, 12 weeks pregnant with a fetus that stopped growing around 8-9 weeks. The only picture I have of my dear Kezdin is at roughly 5 weeks pregnant. As I carried Montgomery to term, I was afraid at every corner, that something would happen. At 5 weeks I almost lost Montgomery, and with the help of progesterone, I past the 12 week mark, but shortly around 13 weeks, the blot clot in my uterus ruptured, another scare that I was losing my precious son, the way I had lost Kezdin so early on. At 30 weeks another scare, that I was in labor, and again with today's drugs and technology, I remained pregnant. I then at 39 weeks delivered a healthy baby boy. So today as millions of you watched the inauguration, I couldn't bring myself to do so! Because 4 years ago I watched the whole thing, from my hospital room.
God has his plans for me, and he chose to bring Kezdin to heaven with him, my dad, and great grandparents.  January 20, 2009 is an anniversary I hold very dear to my heart. mommy loves you Kezdin R. Zeerip. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. Until we meet again my child, you are in the arms of Jesus.

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